~THE HARASSER~

About the complex nature of harassers, their motives, characteristics, and behaviors...
What I can tell is...
It is difficult to study harasser motives or goals directly.

According to the research,the motives or goals are;

- Traditional gender roles

Following their traditional roles men fulfill masculine roles such as being the initiator of sexual activity, while women behave in accord with feminine roles such as being sex objects (Stockdale, Visio, & Batra, 1999).

- Rejection behaviors, which include efforts to humiliate, punish, or debase the target

This theory proposes that during sexual harassment, two categories of goals can be at play that apply to male and female harassers as well as male and female targets. Approach motives involve efforts to develop a closer relationship with the target.

- Emotional motives
This are based on behavior that is directed toward making the harasser "feel good."

Article from: Sex Roles: A Journal of Research | September 1, 2006 | Lucero, Margaret A.; Allen, Robert E.; Middleton, Karen L.

 

~REFLECTION~

I have learned a lot of thing throughout blogging. Firstly, blogging can be time consuming. Before you know it three hours go by, assignments are still on the table, clothes need to be wash and you need study for your next test. You need to set limits otherwise you will get completely screwed in. the most important that I learned is we should try coming up with a schedule. Before sitting down we should know what you are going to work on and for how long. One tip I learned is to set a timer to help you stay on track. For example; say you have one hour to work. Your schedule could look like this:

15 minutes: Check and respond to email

30 minutes: Work on a post

15 minutes: Tweet and post on Facebook

You feel much more productive when you have a schedule and stick to it.\

 

Besides, we also need to find our voice. I admit this can be a tough one. When I first started blogging, I wasn’t sure the direction I was headed. It took me awhile to finally feel comfortable with my own voice. But as soon as I did it helped build my confidence and allowed me to grow as a blogger. Everyone has a different voice and perspective on life; you just need to find what feels comfortable to you. That is why I am saying that we are all unique and so our blogs deserve to be original. 

Furthermore, engaging feels good. Who doesn’t love comments? It gives you gratification that there is someone else out there reading your posts and connecting with you on a personal level. One of the biggest tips on how to create dialogue with your readers is to ask a question at the end of your post. It gives your readers a prompt to share their story or offer advice. This has really helped me connect with my readers and make stronger relationships. I am really lucky because I get a few comments for each post even though I am new in blogging world. 

Last but not least, I am really happy with my blogging journey so far, but I do find myself occasionally struggling with where I want to go with this blog. I see so many bloggers really getting personal with their readers. There was a point when I felt that I should too. Then I realized that I shouldn't be blogging like other bloggers. I should be blogging like myself. Maybe their blog are kind of personal blog and readers are more likely to be excited with that. While my blog are more likely to be an educational blog and fewer people attract to it. Besides, there are very few people in the world that know me really well, so to air out everything to people I have never met would be sort of impossible for me. I don't look at this blog as a place to "vent" but as a place to inspire and to share knowledge. As I continue to learn what works for me and who I am as a blogger, I'm also learning who I am as a person.

~WHERE CAN I GET HELP???~

KEEP D'LADY FORECAST~

WHAT CAN I DO?

Instead of getting help and support from the family
you should know that
there are other people who really can help you.
First, you can calling or contact TALIAN NUR,
which is 15999.
You can speak up everything that have you faced to the TALIAN NUR.
They will hear all your problem first,
then they will give you some advice or guideline
on what you need to do next and
also help you find ways to solve your problems.


Besides, commonly for the sexual harassment cases,
they always ask the victim to make a police report even though it is not a big cases.
The reason is not only for their own safety but also the public.
So this is really important things that you should think of.
You should make a police report from the nearest police station to you.

Legally speaking, there is no specific offense of sexual harassment in Malaysia.
Hence, if a police report were lodged,
the police would have to look to the general criminal law (Penal Code)
in order to decide which particular offense to charge the harasser with.
The case would then be treated like any other sexual offense case.
Again, lodging a police report could also be an effective tool.
In addition to the police investigation and possible charges in court,
it could send a clear message to the harasser
that he is not simply going to get away with it since the police are aware of the matter.

~6 WAYS TO HELP PEOPLE WHO EXPERIENCE SEXUAL HARASSMENT~

KEEP D'LAdY FOrecAST;

Now let us take a look the 6 simple steps to help sexual harassment victim;

1. Help victim understand that they are not to blame and that they have a right to complain and take action.

2. Encourage victim to speak up if they are targets o sexual harassment or if they know of other victims who are targets.

3. Do not expect victim to talk openly about the sexual harassment.

4. Remember that the victim needs support and reassurance that the harassment is over.

5. Encourage the victim to write down incidents as soon as they happen and make a complaint.

6. Take legal action.

~LETS PLAY "WHAT IT IS"~

D'LADY FORECAST~

Just past play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.

Do you ever have idea or think that we can create a game from a social issue???

Or social issue can be a part of an interactive online game???

Last few days I have found a game that related to sexual harassment issue.

and I'm really proud with their brilliant idea.

They proved that there are many ways to raise awareness among community.

"WHAT IT IS"

is one of a unique digital quiz game

challenging sexual violence against youth.

It is an initiative of METRAC 

(Metropolitan Action Committee on Violence Against Women and Children). 

The game’s design and content 

was guided by diverse young people, 

including a Youth Advisory Team made up of youth members.

The quizzes will help you to identifying and solving sexual violence.

You will totally enjoy the game.

Because the characters of the game are interesting and the game also shows a real life situation.

Such as in the cafeteria,

Public transit

Park;

The quiz;

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR...Let's try out this game~

LINK;

http://www.challengesexualviolence.org/index.php/challenge-sexual-violence-the-game-english/

~CAN WE CATERGORIZED SEXUAL HARASSMENT?~

D'LADY FORECAST~

Awareness requires a rupture with the world we take for granted; 

then old categories of experience are called into question and revised.

Shoshana Zuboff Quotes

The answer is YES.

Generally, there are two distinct forms of sexual harassment.

Often these forms overlap or occur simultaneously.

Let’s see their brief introduction;

QUID PRO QUO

-It means, essentially “you do something for me and I’ll do something for you.”

-may means sex for grades in context of among students or other favors.

-Includes an offer of special treatment 

 such as awarding a better grade in return for sexual favors.

-For example; a teacher threatens a student with some penalty 

 if she does not consent to have sexual relationship with him.

-One of critically serious concern.

-Raises questions regarding rape, sexual abuse, 

 sex with a minor, and other equally serious issues.

HOSTILE EDUCATIONAL ENVIRONMENT

-Is the most prevalent and misunderstood form of sexual harassment.

-Any, sexually-oriented conduct or any sexual oriented atmosphere 

 that is intimidating or offensive to a reasonable woman, 

 can be constructed as creating a hostile educational environment.

-It concept is so confusing because men and women often 

 perceive the very same behavior in quite different ways.

-What a woman might consider blatantly offensive, 

 a man might consider innocuous.

-In order for sexually unwelcome and offensive behavior 

 to be considered to have created a hostile educational environment, 

 the behavior must be “sufficiently pervasive and severe”.

References/Resources;
-Sexual Harassment on Campus, Bernise R.Sandler, 1997; Ally & Bacon

~COMFORT ZONE~

D'LADY FORECAST~

To the degree we're not living our dreams, 

our comfort zone 

has more control of us than we have over ourselves.

A few things must be said about how women perceive sexual harassment.

Not all women perceive all of the same behaviors as sexual harassment.

This had been proved by the survey that I had been conducted.

This survey had been done through online.

The respondents which were among my friends had been helped me a lot.

In this survey, they only need to answer the question 

from the form in the GOOGLE DOC.

that had been created by myself.

Through this way, I realized that this is one of 

the most effective ways to conduct a survey.

Because you can save your time, your respondent time, 

money to print out the forms, respondents feel more comfortable, 

easy to collect data and analyze data.

The survey conducted revealed that;

The survey show that most of women surveyed saw
sexual assault or sexual proposition as sexual harassment.
There is no right or wrong answer for this survey.

All the answer given is sexual harassment.
But, this shows that all people have a different series 

of comfort zones that they draw around themselves. 

Normally, in our interactions we allow people 

to get closer and have more personal interactions 

only as we feel more comfortable with them. 

In a casual conversation with a stranger 

we are likely to share little personal information, 

allow no touching, and keep a fair amount 

of space between ourselves and the stranger. 

As we feel more comfortable with a person and 

get to know them better, we are likely to 

allow them to stand closer to us, 

perhaps put a hand on our shoulder and 

even joke or tease us. 

It is only our dearest friends or family members 

that are given permission to enter the closest circle of intimacy.

Each of us has different comfort zones.

We each select who will enter our comfort zone and for what purpose.

Problems can arise when we think that 

because we have included someone in our comfort zone, 

they have an obligation to include us in theirs.

For example, a close male friend might tell a female, 

“You look so sweet in that skirt”, 

and she might feel complimented. 

She has allowed him inside of her comfort zone 

by giving him permission to comment on her physical appearance. 

However, another male may make a similar comment

and same girl may put it outside the comfort zone and be offended.

#thank you again to all participants of this survey >.<

~THEY ALSO CONCERN : AWARENESS GLOW FROM SINAR.FM~

D'LADY FORECAST~

Concern should drive us into action 

Thumbs up to one of the Malaysia’s Radio Station.

SINAR.fm.

Radio Station also one of a good media sources 

to bring awareness among community.

And this had been proved by SINAR.fm.

*from GoogleImage

Recently, they advertise about sexual harassment issue.

We can hear they spread their awareness words in the commercial break.

One of the lines is,

“hanya anda yang mampu mengubahnya dan semuanya bermula dari anda…”

“ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE IT AND IT STARTS FROM YOU…”

There's also a line that persuade community to respect each other.

This shows that they concern about this issue

and support sexual harassment awareness.

They also tend to make a social change

with their own way.

So, how about you?

You also can make a social change with your own way~

#This is my mother’s favorite radio station and every morning she will listen to it before she turn on the TV.

~#3 AM I SEXUALLY HARASSED? : how to identify sexual harassment~

D'LADY FORECAST


The greater the power, 
the more dangerous the abuse.

The Context of power 
Sexual harassment has more to do with POWER
and less to do with sex than is generally understood.
What makes it different from ordinary flirting
is that sexual harassment occurs in the context of power imbalance.
One person has more power than the other
and therefore has the power to intimidate.
Sometimes the women "CHOSEN" by the harasser are the most vulnerable.

 The formal power of a supervisor or a faculty member is obvious;
both have the power to affect the life chances of employees and students 
because of their ability to provide or withhold 
a benefit, evaluation or service and their potential to harm.
It is the power relationship that characterizes the insidious nature of sexual harassment.
A person with less power can be easily intimidate by a person with more power.

Most discussion of power and sexual harassment have focused on formal power.
However, the informal power of men over women 
by virtue of their greater physical size, strength 
and status in another factor in sexual harassment, 
especially when it involves coworkers or students harassig other students.

In one sense harassing behavior has often been 'normalized' 
and viewed as typical and acceptable behavior for young males.
So it's already said why sexual harassment become an unrealistic issue among community~


References/Resources;
-Sexual Harassment on Campus, Bernise R.Sandler, 1997; Ally & Bacon

~#2 AM I SEXUALLY HARASSED? : how to identify sexual harassment~

D'LADY FORECAST~

If we could first know where we are, 
and whither we are tending, 
we could then better judge what to do, 
and how to do it.

As been told before,
there were three major characteristics,
the next characteristic is;

Sexual or Gender-Related Behavior

Sexual harassment can be verbal, nonverbal, or physical,
the latter sometimes qualifying as sexual assault.
Guess what, sexual harassment can occur once or several times.
It includes ( but not limited to the following) ;

PHYSICAL

1. Touching a person, including patting, pinching, stroking, squeezing, hugging or brushing against his or her body
2. Giving a neck or shoulder massage
3. Touching or grabbing a person's breasts, crotch or buttocks
4. Leering or ogling, such as "elevator eyes", or staring at a woman's breast or body
5. Direct or indirect threats or bribes for sexual activity

VERBAL

1. Sexual innuendos, comments, or bantering
2. Asking or commenting about a person's sexuality
3. Humor or jokes about sex or females in general
4. Asking for sexual behavior
5. Calling women names such as "hot stuff", "cutie pie", "bitch", "whore" or "slut"
6. Spreading rumors about a person sexual activities
7. Making sounds such as sucking or kissing noises

NON VERBAL

1. Sexual graffiti in general or about a particular person
2. Using sexual ridicule to denigrate or insult a person
3. Sending sexual mail, notes, e-mail, messages or making sexually explicit phone calls
4. Sending, giving, showing or displaying sexual materials, including pornography, sexual pictures,     cartoons and calendars.                                                                                                              

Which form of sexual or gender-related behavior is the most common sexual harassment in our community?
Lets share your opinion with us~

References/Resources;
- -Sexual Harassment on Campus, Bernise R.Sandler, 1997; Ally & Bacon

                                

~#1 AM I SEXUALLY HARASSED? : how to identify sexual harassment~

D'LADY FORECAST~ 

Sometimes questions are more important than answers

How do I know I am sexually harassed?
Do they sexually harassed me?
Is this sexual harassment?

Those are examples of common question
that we will hear or we will ask.
There are three major characteristics of sexual harassment;

• The behavior is unwanted or unwelcome
• The behavior is sexual or related to the sex or gender of the person
• The behavior occurs in context of a relationship that includes formal power or informal power

UNWANTED BEHAVIOR

The fact that the behavior is unwanted
makes sexual harassment different from other kinds of interaction.
In sexual harassment, the behavior, to some degree,
is defined by the victim.
So in simple words, we can say that
if the behavior is unwelcome,
it can be sexual harassment.
This situation will happen to anybody,male or female.
If it is welcomed, it is not likely to be sexual harassment.
For example:
Gita is waiting for her friend at the bus stop. Suddenly, a man come and stand close to her.
Then, up to a point the man touch her buttocks and makes her feeling really uncomfortable.

Women seem less confused about sexual harassment,
whether or not they use the term, than men.
They know when they are uncomfortable.
They know the difference between witty comment and sexual joke.
They know the difference between flirting and sexual intimidation.
They know the difference between a friendly touch and sexual assault.


#TO BE CONTINUE~

*REFERENCES/RESOURCES:
-Sexual Harassment on Campus, Bernise R.Sandler, 1997; Ally & Bacon

~VISTA OF MYTHS AND REALITIES~

D'LADY FORECAST~

Myths is an attempt to narrate a whole human experience, 

of which the purpose is too deep, 

going too deep in the blood and soul, 

for mental explanation or description.

Most of people still talking about the myths of sexual harassment. 

Guess what, these myths be hereditary from generation to another generation. 

Even though we have achieve a brand new world generation. 

Myths are still myths and totally opposite with fact or reality. 

Generally the myths and realities of sexual harassment  are;

Myth      – Sexual harassment is a woman’s problem and only happens to women who flirt, dress provocatively or otherwise “invite” it.

Reality – Sexual harassment most often occurs when someone in power abuses that power; it occurs regardless of how someone looks or acts. Sexual harassment can and does happen to anyone.

Myth        - Only women are sexually harassed and all sexually harassment perpetrators are men.
Reality   - While women continue to be the majority of sexual harassment recipients, men do get harassed by other men and women. Also, increasing number of women are being sexually harassed by other women.

 

Myth      – Sexual harassment is no big deal. Anyone who complains has no sense of humor.  

Reality – Sexual harassment and intimidation aren’t funny. They are degrading and humiliating. The effects of sexual harassment can be negative and long lasting, sometimes ruining careers and undermining academic performance, often causing emotional turmoil.

Myth      – If sexual harassment is ignored, it will go away. If the victim “just says ‘No’ ”, the harasser will stop.

Reality – Many harassers are told “No” repeatedly and still continue their behavior. Ignoring harassment is frequently seen as assent or encouragement, a sign that the victim “really likes it.”

*References/Resources:

-www.sexualharassmentsupport.org/myths.html

-http://targetlaw.com/myths-on-sexual-harassment

~SEXUAL HARASSMENT : what it is?~

D'LADY FORECAST~

Sexual harassment is complex, subtle, and highly subjective.
  
According dictionary sexual harassment is;
the persistent unwelcome directing of sexual remarks and looks, and unnecessary physical contact at a person, usually a woman, especially in the workplace 

In simple urban definition, we can say ;

if someone is giving you unwanted sexual attention, that is Sexual Harassment.

SITUATION 1
Elly and Sally are walking back home. As they pass a group of boys, the boys walk up to them and begin making lewd comments.  They also start teasing and making fun of the girls.

SITUATION 2
As Lily walks in the train, two boys start to get near her on either side of her and sandwich her between them. They keep her between them for about 15 seconds, rubbing her up and down.

SITUATION 3
Mr.Rama is a favorite teacher among the male students. He has a "sexy funny" joke or story to tell during his class. Today he telling his students about joke of intimacy between big plus size couple.

SITUATION 4
Mr.Haris has a habit of putting his hands on the women hips. He will do this when he board the public transport. He tells some of his friends that he really enjoys it when women wear short skirts.

SITUATION 5
Shanty is in kindergarten. She is the last student to get off the school van at the end of the day. Every day as she walks past Mr.Jaga, the van driver, he either gives  her hug, pats her on the bottom or gives her a piece of candy.

SITUATION 6
One day, as Lila walks away home, suddenly a motorcycle parks near the street that she walk. Then the motorcycle guy show his private parts of his body to her.

All of these situations are examples of real life events.
Each of these situations is an example of sexual harassment.
It shows that sexual harassment occurring in everywhere and anywhere every day.
But not all people have face this kind of situation.
And this is the primary reason why most of people take this issue as easy as ABC.
Unless once they have become the victim then they will realize.
How hard this issue could be.

*References/Resources:
-Sexual Harassment In Our Schools, Robert J.Shoop, 1994; Ally & Bacon
-http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sexual+harassment

~KICK START~

D'LADY FORECAST~

It takes chances,
to make changes.

Hello and welcome readers to my blog. With this blog, I'm hoping to bring awareness to the issue that i had selected, which is SEXUAL HARASSMENT. I'm also hope that I can get some if not much support from all of you to change the world.

Here are some of the details.

TITLE

KEEP THE LADY

OBJECTIVE

To advocate and raise awareness about sexual harassment in campus, in public and in general.

Today, sexual harassment apparently stills a problem among community especially for students.

Thus, this project will be focus on research, discussion and report of everything regarding sexual harassment issue, including  type of sexual harassment with example case, policy against sexual harassment, prevention of sexual harassment, place where sexual harassment have possibilities to happens, community experience, where to find help if you are one of the victim and ways to creating safe campus.

Last but not least, I really hope that my little handy movement can help community towards this issue and readers will support this little cyber community movement project and I really appreciate if you do so. Thank you so much guys!!!